I admit it. I'm a sucker for baseball trades and all the rumors that happen before them. Over the years I have tried to predict trades that could or should happen.
Remember back in 1988 when the Mets traded Randy Milligan to Pittsburgh for Mackey Sasser? Well I was the one who predicted that deal weeks before it happened. Unfortunately since then I've been in a 25 year slump in predicting any others.
Anyway regarding trades there are interesting sources these days likeMLBTradeRumors.com and one can read the knowledgeable writers like Buster Olney, Jon Heyman, and Tom Verducci just to name a few.
But we all know that the true experts about all things baseball are the people who sit at home afternoons listening to Mike Francesa and/or Michael Kay. Now there's a group.
My favorite thing is when one of these knuckleheads calls in with a suggestion for a trade that the Yankees or Mets should make. I've discerned some universalities about these trade proposals.
#1 Usually the proposal will involve a player that someone has suggested is available in trade. Only the fringiest Tea Party-est types call in and tell the host what they'd move in order to bring Mike Trout to the Bronx or Queens.
#2 The deal usually requires three or more players from our team. For the most part these players are worthless or close to worthless and many would prefer them gone with the weekly recycling.
#3 In outlining the proposal the caller always has reasons why each guy the other team is receiving will be wonderful for them despite his uselessness to us. The reasons are usually ridiculous but they're offered anyway
So here are four trade proposals that you could hear on local sports radio. I'll save the big fish (that's a pun everybody) for last.
OFFER 1- Colorado trades Carlos Gonzalez (aka CarGo) to the Mets for MIke Baxter, Justin Turner, and Greg Burke.
Reasoning: Baxter can fill the Gonzalez role as the Rockies' LF. Hopefully no one will point out that there's nothing on the baseball field that Baxter can do a tenth as well as CarGo. But hey, that's why there's more, right? Turner is offered as someone who can play all the infield positions, has bright red hair, and can fill their team's need for someone to smoosh whipped cream pies into teammates' faces when the Rockies have a late come from behind victory. And Greg Burke must certainly be a major league ready reliever. After all, the Mets called him up from triple A about a dozen times in 2013 (not withstanding that they sent him down almost as many times).
OFFER 2 – assuming the Rockies turn down that wonderful offer for Cargo…. Mets trade Ruben Tejada, Lucas Duda, and Gonzalez Germen to Colorado for Troy Tulowitzki.
Reasoning: For the Rocks to move their powerhitting AllStar shortstop they’d likely want a replacement. Who better than Ruben Tejada, a young player who spent almost the entire 2013 being disciplined by the team for the unforgivable sin of not working as hard as his manager wanted? Tejada, if can be pointed out, is just shy of his 24th birthday so we can sell them on his bright future. And maybe they’ll buy the notion that his 2 major league HR’s in his 345 game major league career will translate to 10 or more in the light air of Mile High Stadium. But for real power the Rockies can count on (cough, cough) the Lucas Duda part of the deal. With Todd Helton retiring surely they want a high on-base-percentage kind of guy to take his place. Further, the radio caller would point out Lucas’ ability to play the outfield too. We who’ve seen plenty of Duda know that he belongs in the outfield about as much as he would belong at shortstop. And finally we’re throwing in that young arm just as a sweetener.
OFFER 3- Mets trade Ike Davis, Jenrry Mejia, and David Aardsma to the LA Angels for Mark Trumbo. The scary thing here is that if the Angels think Ike is not irretrievably broken this would actually be a pretty fair offer. I suppose the Mets would point to when Ike was good and tumbling over railings to make web gem catches. All that has to be ignored is 2011 and 2012. Mejia when healthy is solid young arm. Did I mention when healthy? And Aardsma I suppose provides help in the bullpen and the earliest part of the alphabet.
And now that Big Fish I promised you.
OFFER 4- Miami Marlins trade Mike Stanton to the Mets for Noah Syndegaard, Josh Satin, Kirk Nieuwenheis, and Jeremy Hefner. Yes, Syndegaard is a legit top prospect and the Marlins probably want three or four of that type for their young power machine. Satin can be sold as a corner infielder with an ability to get onbase and intimidating eyebrows. Kirk, if you squint your eyes and tilt your head a bit, is a multi-tool talent. We’d have to liken him to when the Mets traded away Carlos Gomez and how that guy developed. Of course, the fact that those two players are nothing alike might get thrown back in our face. And Hefner, once he rehabs from his Tommy John surgery, should return to form as solid #5 starter – just what any team would want when they’re trading away their best position player.
So there are the proposals. If any of you have Sandy Alderson’s ear you can give him these free of charge. 2014 playoffs here we come.