If you're a real baseball fan (or perhaps I should say a REAL DIRTY one) you often read chat transcripts at various websites.  Many of the Baseball Prospectus guys do them, Tim Dierkes at MLBTradeRumors does, Keith Law, and others.

Now if I really knew what I was talking about and had the slightest technological know-how I would do one right here at THE REAL DIRTY METS' Di-Jest.   But since I don't I'll just show you what it might look like IF we'd held a chat session right here at the Di-Jest.


from Mr. Natey:  Who will be the next great Mets' shortstop?


Di-Jest: Rumor has it that he was born a few years ago in a manger in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.  I don't have his name for you but shortly after his birth he was visited by the three wise egomaniacs Mike Lupica, Skip Bayless, and Keith Olbermann. 


from Smart Alec:  Complete this - "Journalist is to blogger as....."


Di-Jest:   Rafael Nadal is to me on a tennis court.


from Mitch That Sings:  Do you have any sympathy for us Yankees' fans who had to endure an injury plagued season and then didn't make the postseason?


Di-Jest:  The Yankees?  The friggin Yankees?  The team that has a payroll greater than the GNP of most European countries?  The team that had so many monuments and World Series banners that they had to build a new billion dollar stadium to house them?  The team that kicked the Mets off the WFAN airwaves?  If you want sympathy from this Mets fan (or any of us for that matter) you'll have to trade owners with us.  Then I'd have plenty of sympathy for your situation.



from Uncle Beans:  What do you see as the Mets' offseason goal?

Di-Jest:  Well Beans I suppose it is what it always is.  To make the fans think that they're doing something while they're really not .  And to improve the bullpen which they never do



from Ted Pontiff in Maryland:  Who are you rooting for in the playoffs?


Di-Jest:   There are playoffs?   I'm a Mets fan.  Who knew?


from Jody Mike Mike:  Who's your favorite Mets player?


Di-Jest:  The last one to get a hit.


from Commissioner Bud:   What should AROD's punishment be?


Di-Jest:  I'm leaning toward pine-tarring-and-feathering.


from Fan Losing Hope:  When will the Wilpons finally give up the ghost and sell the team?


Di-Jest:  Probably about 10 minutes after I'm cremated.




from  Richman Poorman:  How lengthy a contract might the Mets offer free agent Cuban 1bman Jose Dariel Abreu?


Di-Jest:  My sources tells me that the language will read - "until Dominick Smith is ready"




from Mike the Carp: Where should Mike Baxter bat?

Di-Jest:  In Las Vegas.



from Long suffering fan:  What are your 10 favorite all time Mets' moments?


Di-Jest: Ten?  Ten, really?  How about I think of six and owe you four?

(1)- April 1962 when Major League Baseball (sort of) returned to the National League.

(2)- There's the 1969 miracle team of course

(3)- The 1986 Bill Buckner game  (I caught a batting practice ball prior to game 2 of that WS, can I count that?)

(4)- Tom Seaver's almost no-hitter, aka the Jimmy Qualls game

(5)- Dave Mlicki shutting out the Yankees

(6)- Dec 15, 2002 the day my least favorite Met all-time, Rey Ordonez, was traded away


Larry writes a humor column for us at The Real Dirty Mets Blog once or  more per week. You can follow Larry on Twitter at @dr4sight There he comments on the teams that drive him crazy: the Mets, both NY  football teams, the NY Rangers, and the Knicks.